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Monday, March 19, 2012

Mystery Sweater.

On Friday, I found a mystery sweater front and center in my closet. It's red and it has swirls. Let's call it the unknown quantity for now. We know nothing of its importance, origin or its belonging. All we know is that it was NEWLY placed in my closet right in the middle in a high traffic area - and it's not mine, nor have I seen it before in my life.
Who are you red sweater with swirls? And who do you work for???

I'll present the facts for any  help in solving this mystery:
1) Right now I'm living alone (Serg is back in DC), so besides the house keeper (Rebecca), there is no one else that comes in or out.
2) I discussed the sweater with Rebecca this morning and she told me that it is not hers and she has never seen it before. She agreed that she probably hung it in my closet but is not sure where she picked up from in the house.
3) I carried out forensic studies on the sweater and here are the results:
  • It has been worn as evidenced by deoderant marks on the side.
  • It smells of human - neutral human.
  • The fabric is a bit bally showing wear.
  • There are no hair strands on the sweater perhaps eluding to a bald unidentified subject/owner. 
4) It was not left by any visitors - confirmed.

Questions left to be answered:
- Who's sweater is it?
- Why is it in my house?
- Was it left by an intruder?
- Did the intruder perhaps trade me for something that I'm not aware is missing yet?
- Who wears sweaters when it's 80 degrees outside?
- What do people in China call their fancy dishes?

If you have any information leading to the solving of the sweater mystery - please contact me.

 (I gotta stop watching Criminal Minds.)


  1. A few comments:

    1) First of all, does this really belong in the Ridiculous Humor category? While we all agree that you are funny, are you not giving yourself too much credit? You would know how we feel about it's level of humor if you wouldn't have removed the ratings boxes for us.

    2) You mention that it's a normal human smell. I've lived in Kenya and in Africa for a very long time and pretty much know that there are very very few people in Africa that smell normal. So the chances of it being Rebecca or an intruder are probably slim.

    3) If it was Rebecca or an intruder, perhaps they have all of your sport bras or Sergio's missing socks.

    1. You are a mean comment leaver. I have the right mind to delete this nonsense! Of course it's funny - all that matters is whether I think it's funny - you think I write this stuff for others?
      on #2 - true.
      on #3 - also true. We need to do a raid and you know where. I'm not going to write it blatantly on here.

    2. oh my other comment to you, Mr. Hot Scott, whoever you are - is that it is appropriately tagged "RIDICULous humor" because I knew that I would be ridiculed and persecuted by the likes of people like you!

  2. Ok... I am b/w laughing (about the sweater) and figuring out if my absence has created a TV junkie (ok... Gideon :)....regardless, I am laughing my butt off..

    I do have to say that it's a very interesting 'case', you and I will do a full analysis upon my arrival. I am thinking about pulling out old evidence.......my unpaired socks! we'll see how far we get

    1. The sweater will be here when you arrive. I will not tamper with the evidence for now.
      Yes! we need to compare dna samples from the unpaired socks with sweater. The answer lies there.

  3. forgot to say... I've seen Rebecca wearing that thing before. I'll find evidence that she's the rightful owner, damn it!

  4. that is not my sweater. because:
    1. I don't wear sweaters. i am a naturally hot person. i am hot always.
    2. i don't wear deodorant
    3. i would never give you something that beautiful.

    (only 2 out of 3 of those are correct....which ones?!!?!)

    1. #2 and #3 of course!!!
      Deodorant is so 2011.

      Love you Lorna!

  5. Lenna , honey ... you ve been alone too long.. its getting to you.. I fear for your sanity..
    Remember what people in solitary confinement do .. to keep from going stir crazy .. they begin giving bugs names and developing friendships with them,... try that .. it works for me.


So..what do you have to say about all this?